Scott Sampson

Fur­ther to a dis­cus­sion I was hav­ing a couple of days ago, I decided to pub­lish this list of corny, pathetic and occa­sion­ally humor­ous chat-up lines.

I strongly advise against ever using any of these, as you’ll most likely end up get­ting slapped!

Feel free to add your own via com­ments, as I’ll be updat­ing this list when I remember!

Is that a lad­der in your tights or the stair­way to heaven?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past again?

Get your coat, you’ve pulled

If I could rearrange the alpha­bet, I’d put you and I together…

Is your dad a thief? He must be. He took the stars outta the sky, and put them in your eyes!

I may not be the best look­ing one here, but I’m the only one talk­ing to you!

How’d you like to wake up and find me hanging outta ya?

You be Wilma, I’ll be Fred. Together we can make the bedrock…

Fancy a fuck? If not, do you mind lay­ing down while I have one?

You’ll do…

Is your dad a ter­ror­ist? Cos baby you’re da bomb!

How’d you like to see the soles of your shoes in my wing mirrors?

You know the only thing miss­ing from that out­fit? Me!

How’d you like your eggs in the morn­ing? Fer­til­ised or un-fertilised?

Are your legs tired? Cos you’ve been run­ning through my mind all night!

Wanna go halves on a bastard?

This is me mak­ing the first move. Your turn!

I think I love you…

You’re really ugly. I’d be doing you a favour!

There must be a light­switch on my fore­head because everytime I see you, you turn me on!

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Come and sit on my lap. We’ll talk about the first thing that comes up…

Hey… How you doin?

When God made you, he was just show­ing off!

It’s been said over the years (quite fre­quently in fact) that I’m a bit of a ModX “fan­boy”. Whilst this isn’t entirely true, it’s not exactly false either.

I am a firm believer in the right tool for the job, whatever that may be. 

If you’re a plumber, you wouldn’t use a ham­mer to loosen a nut, you’d use a span­ner or a wrench.

Sim­il­arly, if I’m build­ing a fully blown web­site, that requires con­tent edits to be made by the cli­ent, I’m going to use a CMS that does the job, with the min­imum amount of fuss and the min­imum amount of “hack­ing” and “tweaking.”

I quite often get asked: “Why don’t you use Word­press for that site?”

My answer? “Because Word­press is pre­dom­in­antly a blog­ging tool.”

ModX on the other hand, is a full blown CMS. It doesn’t require hack­ing to oper­ate as a CMS, it just is.

Whilst Word­press is an amaz­ing piece of kit, it is not, in my opin­ion, a Con­tent Man­age­ment Sys­tem suit­able for large scale deploy­ment straight out of the box.

Now I know that there are those of you who are going to start swear­ing at me and arguing. News­flash: I’ve heard it all before. I know Word­press can be used a CMS, but why go to all the trouble of hack­ing it and tweak­ing it, when there are products that do what is required “off the shelf.”

I believe in using what is right for the cli­ent. Irrel­ev­ant of my per­sonal choices and opin­ions. If a cli­ent came to me and asked spe­cific­ally for Word­press, even after I’d explained why I advised against it, then I’d use Word­press. I’d make the hacks and tweaks. I’d spend the time cre­at­ing the cus­tom theme for it (which is some­thing that bugs the hell out of me, but that’s another post).

But if a cli­ent comes to me, and wants to take my advice, which lets face it, is why they come to us pro­fes­sion­als in the first place, then I’m going to recom­mend whichever CMS is the most suit­able for them, their budget and their needs.

If their budget doesn’t stretch to some­thing like Expres­sion Engine (another excel­lent CMS by the way), then I’ll recom­mend an open source altern­at­ive. And yes, ModX is def­in­itely my favour­ite, and most recommended.

Why is it so hard to find web sites without gram­mat­ical errors?

I’m just as guilty of it as a lot of people, although I do try and make sure my posts are at least spelt correctly!

I appre­ci­ate that for a lot of people Eng­lish isn’t their first lan­guage, and for those people and sites I tend to make an excep­tion. It’s the idi­ots who have Eng­lish as a primary lan­guage and have no dis­ab­il­ity to jus­tify it, and still type like stoned baboons that annoy me!

How hard is it to tell the dif­fer­ence between their, there and they’re?

How about where and we’re? loose and lose?

Incor­rect use of cap­ital let­ters is another one that bugs me. Take the fol­low­ing quotes:

I had to help my uncle jack off a horse…

and

I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse…

The only dif­fer­ence between the two is a single cap­ital let­ter, and yet the dif­fer­ence it makes in read­ing and infer­ence is amazing.

Which would you rather people thought you were saying?

Gram­mar doesn’t only apply to the web (obvi­ously), you should take extra care when writ­ing any­thing, take the extra five minutes to proof-read your document/post/page before hit­ting that publish/send button.

[sits back and waits for the abuse RE the ter­rible gram­mar in this post]

Hello there, and wel­come to my new site!

Over the com­ing weeks/months/years, I’ll be filling this site with my ram­blings, thoughts and exper­i­ments in web design.

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